Living in digs on a low budget comes with its challenges. The biggest issue is one of household appliances. All four girls bought their own kettle to the party, and there was one resident when we arrived. The big question is: Which one to use? Nemo proposed a kettle race.We’ll line them all up (in separate rooms so as not to trip the power) then: ready, steady go.
Since then we have decided on hosting an Appliance Olympics.
Fish: “My kettle will definitely lose, it doesn’t switch itself off.”
Nemo: “Yeah but it will cross the line ahead of the all- burning toaster”
Whale: “But wait! The gimpy vacuum cleaner might be a strong contender.”
Squid: (me) “And in the left corner we have the retarded oven with only one rack and no concept of constant temperature.”
Whale: “Limping in last is the fridge.”
Squid: (groans) “The non- sealing fridge.”
Nemo: “The fridge rounds the corner…it’s sweating, no wait- it’s actually leaking.”
Squid: “Actually, we need to have a separate paraplegic Olympics for the oven and the fridge. Also the telkom line that got cut off, with the double handicap of a hazardous cross-passage extension cord…”
Fish( interruping): “What about my bleeding bed?”
Wait. Bleeding bed?
Well: “The mattress is red. So it got wet, I think I drooled on it; and it made a red puddle on the floor.”